Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Birth of the Day Blog

GO HEAD... IT'S MY BURFDAY
GONNA PARTY CAUSE IT'S MY BURFDAY
I'M GONE SIP BACARDI (or some alcoholic beverage) CAUSE IT'S MY BURFDAY


Yup, I made it to my 32nd year of existence. Can't thank anybody but God for that one... I had some fun with my sister-in-laws over the weekend (for my burfday), endured millions of jokes about turning 35, even though it ain't true... but I laughed anyway... hey who cares... I've got another year under my belt...

With the hours quickly approaching my big day (Jan. 30), I've thought a lot about me. I've thought about what defines me... actually been doing this for a couple of days now... yesterday's thoughts made me go ahead and do what my mom termed the BC (Big Chop)... for all that didn't know, I had relaxed my hair for what I thought was the greater good... better employment opportunities in Tha Land where jobs are continually diminishing... yesterday, that hair became a memory and should be resting in the landfill by tomorrow afternoon (trash day). I mulled over the mounds of books my mom had on natural hair care and I missed that nappy part of me. That's the REAL me. I grabbed my clippers (which just happened to be at her house) and gave her bathroom sink and floor a healthy dose of chemically altered hair. I went from hair that fell nicely around my shoulders to having hair that made my son say 'put on some earrings mommy 'cause you look like a boy'... and I love it! It was my burfday present... to myself. Putting me back in perspective...and... my sister-in-laws are gonna kill me... but I warned them...

I finished reading Uncle Tom's Children by Richard Wright... the edition republished in 1965... it was one of the most engrossing reads I've EVER had... I slept on him cause I don't like the little small books with the small print. But something about the gorgeous black man with only a half visible face (and some on-looker standing behind him) made me want to know his secrets... and to do that, I had to read the book. See... covers DO matter. Now I have to pick up the rest. I read one of his other books, but that was long ago and I still have it... gotta check it out again... cause I missed something... definitely missed something...

So far I've read 11 books this year... that's a first for me... made it a point to get a lot of reading done... got reading goals this year... that's a first for me too...

My 6 year old son received the 'Most Outstanding Student' award today... mama doing good
My 14 year old daughter is writing a book... mama doing 'REAL' good
and my 2 year old rubbed my head and said 'I wike ur hairrr mommeee'... mama done hit the jackpot

Age has a way of making you live in moments... relish them... revel in them... desire more of them. It has a way of making you understand just how precious each second is... a way of making you stop and think or stop... and live. I don't know how it does it... it just does. Gone are the days of wasting time (though some would think blogging was just that...oh how little do they understand) for the sake of wasting time... I get mad when mine is wasted... how about you?

Even thought about death lately... not my own but of those I love... who still live. I thought about my reactions to some of those who have gone on and why I responded the way I had... it's simple... regret....

If you live and love the people you say you do... and each moment with them is fully spent WITH them... laughing... crying... listening... talking... being silent... then there is no room for regret.

When people make their transition...we grieve... naturally... and move on

When people make their transition and we grieve... with regrets (I wish I wouldn't have argued as much, I wish I was there when they needed to talk, I wish I would have just been able to say goodbye) we need to check our selfishness and try not to make the same mistake... again...

The how is individual... my how is above... each moment with them is fully spent WITH them... laughing... crying... listening... talking... being silent... knowing I've spent whatever time have with them well and to the best of my ability would help me heal... if they pass before I do

So while most do what they do on their birthdays... I'm going to grab a bottle of something, sit my black behind on my black couch and think some more about me... the me that I am, the me that I want to be to others, and the me that I have yet to see...

stay peace

genesis

6 comments:

JC Martin said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

I haven't spent too much time reflecting on me but every now and then I get that "I am disappointed with where I'm at in my life. I have big goals and dreams and I'm accomplishing them slowly. But I can only blame me.

GENESIS said...

Thanks sis!

We've all been at that point where we realize we aren't where we want to be. The key is not wallowing in it... don't give it enough power to continue being... give it just enough to propel you to change... if not, depression, anxiety, and all those negative feelings overwhelm you... and you'll get what you've always gotten...

instead, think of all of the things you have accomplish and celebrate those... life is a mind game... with the right thoughts, we can make things happen... you'd be surprised

love you like friday's after 5

G-

Angelia... said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABEEEE!!!

Live life moving forward, look at missteps as learning curves and love hard!!

Smooches,
mama deep

Emanuel Carpenter said...

Happy Birthday!

another afrikan queen said...

HAPPY BURFDAY GURL!!!!!!

Yeah I have been doing a lot of reflections on myself these days. Since my job closed and I a look for other employment. I felt it necessary to reflect on what is it I want and what dreams do I have that I can still accommplish. I reached some goals but I need to set some more so I can have a challenge again.

Moody Gemini said...

Loved your birthday blog! Go girl spending time thinking about you! I have had that tradition for a while. I take a week of from work mainly because if I am not happy that I was born no one else will be! I turn 32 in May and plan on doing something similar...except I want a beach with a nice drink. I have been unemployed for about 6 months so self-reflection has been a daily task and I truly believe I am a better person for it.

So my birthday wish to you is enjoy yourself, your family, your friends, and your life dreams. And keep reading Richard! He is my all-time favorite, nothing better.

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