I Don't Want To Lose You T.I.

I don't want to lose you, T.I.
But I think it's time we said badbye
Good-bye implies I'll catch up witcha
Though I really don't see that in the picture....

Ok, so I'm not a rapper, but I've got potential :) Anyway...I've been wanting to speak up on this since it happened. But I didn't have time, until now, to gather my thoughts on the matter. T.I. is one of my favorite rap artists. When the news broke that he was pulled over because the cops smelled weed emanating from his car, I said, "Ooook." But when it was added that there were methamphetamines in the car, I said, "Damn," and sighed. Now, in all my fairness a drug is a drug (for all my peeps in recovery, drug counselors, etc... I get it, I know...lol), and I'm not disputing that, it's just meth, crack and all that 'seems' wayyyy worse than mary jane (I am only human).

Now, this may not seem like a big deal to anyone, but it presented a 'value' issue with me. I know I'm not in contact with T.I. or anything like that, so it's totally superficial at first glance. But I love the artist so much I said, "Self, you take pride in being fair in all situations, so will this new charge T.I. has really stop you from supporting his music?" (Yep, I converse with myself on a regular) Can you say conflicted? And this is why...

1.) I do not condone adults doing ridiculous things. And what he and Tiny (yeah, she played a part in it as well) were into was ridiculous.

2.) After his very engaging show, T.I.'s Road To Redemption, I really thought once he finished his prison sentence, he was going to show us all those things he told us. I was a true T.I. cheerleader. I wanted him to do well. *insert sad face here*

3.) He still runs a camp to help at-risk youth (and I dig that totally!) but has presented the very worse example possible.

4.) He's great with his mouth piece. But how can you not love a man who says things like:

One's ability to change comes with one's wishes to change. If you want to change then you have every opportunity, every ability to. If you want something better for yourself then you set your mind to it and you see it and you do it.
(T.I. Jet magazine)

5.) Based on his words, T.I. wasn't ready to change and I don't like being disappointed in such a foolish way. *insert another sad face here...make that a super-sad face*

6.) Where the heck was the 'supervision' in his supervised release? Since T.I.'s been out of prison for 6 months, if someone was on their j-o-b, he should have had at least 3 urine screens. In order to be truly fair, everyone has to play their position, right? I mean, he was banned from possessing controlled substances as a condition of his 'supervised' release. And I may be minimizing what he did by writing this one, but oh, well...I'm still battling with this whole thing.

7.) He's so darn cute when he sings, "You can have whatever you like.." LOL

8.) If he was selling meth (I'm still not clear on the amount found so I don't know if he was using or selling), why be so greedy? Is street credibility that important that you make millions reciting poetry to music, making movies, etc., but still feel the need to hustle dope? Or are you that greedy? Or is it selfishness?

9.) If he was using meth...NEXT!

9.) And what about the responsibilities of fatherhood, husbandhood, brotherhood...


Well, I'm gonna chill out and let the rest of it marinate in merlot-clouded thoughts tonight. Then I'm gonna make my decision. But, my money is funny so it's not looking too good for T.I. People make mistakes, but I can only support those who show they've learned their lesson.

Stay peace

Monday Night FreeStyle

Untitled

I can't talk about her side part wrap
wore my hair that way for many years
and I can't talk about the way she changed the subject
when her neck became hot
it bothered her too much to speak
I've been accustomed to talking about her for years
how the color never changes
and she's always carrying around a faded handkerchief
dabbing at the moisture that tells her truth

And the way she dresses old-school
really didn't bother me
'til I found out I'm not easy to accept change
rather wear something clean
than new
and out of character

The cling-clank of the bangles bothered me
how she seemed to move them around
and emphasized her pointless-points
never knowing it was music to her ears
a distraction from what was happening around her
and comforted her

when i realized it was a mirror image
i suddenly began wheezing
though no asthma consumed my body
it hurt a little
okay
a lot
to realize
i'd taunted her
regularly
disregarded her feelings
daily
cruised on auto-pilot
while others captured their far-away dreams
and I sat
idly
minding her business


For some reason, Monday nights seem to be nights for reflection. I don't intend to make it so and don't know how long it will last. But I notice, Mondays speak to me in a way no other day does. I feel renewed, new, and inspired. Don't ask me where the inspiration comes from; I can't tell you. It just is. Like God; who just is. I had a client tell me she makes her day. And I guess every Monday, I'm just making mine... even if it is in the evening.

Stay peace.

Monday Night FreeStyle

To Be Continued

It isn't the way I move my hips
slightly out of tune
as if my momma wasn't black
that makes my rhythm unique

It isn't the way my hair kinks and curls
with no destination
as if my roots have a mind of their own
that makes my style 'ethnic'

It isn't the way I love my man
through hills and valleys
as if our chemistry is magnetic
that makes me a greater woman

And

It isn't the way I hold my children
through night terrors and soiled diapers and teen angst
as if they are appendages of my soul
that makes me mother of the year

It's the way that I smile
It's the heartiness of my laughter
It's the birthmark in the white of my eye
the smirk defining my sarcastic nature
the way I love my double D's
the power of my voice
the reason in the depth of my decisions
the empathy I carry on my sleeve
the tears I refuse to shed
the violence I do not partake in
the adoration of my melanin
the thirst for knowledge I have
the hunger for equality burning righteously within me
the way I purse my lips before I bless someone
the tumbles and turns of life that I refuse to let hold me back

that defines me
all that I am

and in this moment
I realize I am all that
and more

So no, it isn't my penchant for vintage clothing that makes me a throwback girl
And it isn't my disdain for designer labels that makes me frugal
It's my reality of me
And it could be that I'm just cheap
haven't dug that deep
I am to be continued

Stay peace

genesis