Monday, April 19, 2010

Ready, Set, Go!

Spring always makes me feel a certain way. Makes me want to let some things go, allow some things to gain entrance into my life, and re-evaluate those daily constants I face. This Spring has been especially good to me. I've gained a new boss!

Yeah, I said it...

There is a good newness in something like this. And I understand the honeymoon period, but change has never been a big problem for this Aquarian (despite whatcha heard *smile*). With such a newness, I'm allowed to reinvent myself for the better. Break a few bad habits and get back to the better me...ahh motivation. The stagnation of always doing the same thing and expecting different results does a body- and mind - bad. It gives you permission to do mediocre work after so long. Kind of like that 'it's-time-to-make-the-donuts' syndrome and I absolutely HATE that feeling. The truth is, I've allowed it to a certain extent and I will own all that messiness. But when you're so stuck because there is no room for your out-of-the-box thinking, you lose pieces of yourself that make you tick. In essence, you stop being you (for a moment) and begin to conform to the norms of your environment.

Well I'm happy to say that part of me died. No longer will I accept conforming because people feel there is no other way. No longer will I pick up the pieces of another person's puzzle and try to make them fit the way they want them to. If I choose to put it back together, it's going to be in such a way that makes the situation better. It may be different, but prayerfully it's better than it was.

I remember telling a coworker that I was going to act like I didn't know how to do something because the better I did, the more work I was given.... and I was being purely defiant....because I knew I could be. What she told me was something that I continue to hear everytime my ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) starts to ack (yes ack) up.

"No matter how a person treats you, if you are going to help, do it to the best of your ability. Don't allow someone to make you dumb yourself down, you're better than that. And you aren't hurting anyone but yourself."

And she was right. Sometimes you dumb yourself down by going on with business as usual when you need to push life's pause button and change up the game. Especially when you know it's something that should be done and then don't do it. So although this newness is only in one aspect of my life, I'm taking the opportunity to press pause in other areas and roll out on different, better terms to obtain different, better results.

Stay peace!


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