She slowly removes her 5T jeans
while he coaches away her innocence
She tells him yes when her eyes open wide
and never breaks her stare
she wonders why he has wrinkles on his hands
There is no capacity for her to understand how she is capturing mental stills that will later invade her sanity
When she finally realizes it’s not right,
it’s too late
And when he places his hands over her flat chest
He feels no wrong
He feels new, special… wanted
He even feels truth
She feels something indescribable
But ‘something’ none-the-less
That something makes her want her mother to put him in time-out
Though she does not know why
With arms above her head, she said yes when she allows him to remove her shirt
When the pastel, pink fabric hit the floor
The deed is done and she can’t back out
Especially since he promised her they’d watch Dora the Explorer after they finish his ‘game’
Saying yes when she steps out of her Wednesday embroidered panties
reeking of youth
and the need for protection,
he holds her baby-fat body close to him
and whispers into her ear
causing her to chuckle at his knock-knock joke
All the while he wonders why ‘this one’ had been a hard catch
He’s sick and he needs company
In his misery
By: D.J. Frazier
Mamas taught their kids to beware of strangers. Mamas need to teach their kids to beware of everyone. Children are usually sexually abused by people they know. Do some research, but with keen eyes and an open mind, you can spot the onset of the cycle an abuser uses. Pay particularly close to people who seem to always surround themselves with children. Pay attention to the manners in which they touch your children. There is a grooming process where the perps will touch children often enough (on the shoulder, arm, spinal area, etc.) so they will become comfortable with the 'feel'. To an adult and depending on the environment, such gestures are often disregarded.
Remember, these people will be where kids are; parks, baseball games, back yard bbq's, restaurants catered to children, daycare centers (yes), etc. Who doesn't hug kids? Who doesn't rub a child's back when they've fallen and hurt themselves? How many times have we seen images of Little League coaches with their hands planted on a child's shoulder while speaking to them?
Once they are satisfied with the child's reaction, they test the limits and will graduate to things like placing their hands on the child's knees, or other areas, that are not frequently touched by people other than themselves. The child may feel some sense of wrong, but they trust this person...most times, so do the parents. The grooming period lasts until the child, the parents, and the community, are comfortable enough with seeing Mr/Mrs/Ms XYZ play with, supervise, teach, etc. children.
This is just a smidgen of the cycle. The description above is typical of a certain type of perp. These individuals are usually sexually abusing kids for years.
I didn't plan this post like this. I just wanted to share a lil poetry, but something made me continue to write. I feel that we are a 'fast' world. A world where we see child sexual abuse as an act and not a process. While I'm not denying it's an act, I'm more aware of it being a process as well. Hopefully some ONE will see it this way, too.
Do some research, share links, comments, and this message:
Confronting child sexual abuse with courage
Stop the Silence: Stop Child Sexual Abuse
The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry on child sexual abuse
Those are good starts and have helpful resources.