MyTimeObesession

I L*O*V*E Salvador Dali.

One of my favorites, The Persistence Of Memory (TPOM), continues to pull me in. Reminding me that who I am, and who I need to be isn't the same thing as who I am, and who I want to be. And more importantly, recognizing which one of these roles is important at the time.
(FB Fam, you have to go to poeticgenesis.blogspot.com to view images)
The melting of the clocks, to me, symbolizes time we waste or let slip away. I find myself spending tons of time just looking at this. I can only hope my loose interpretation scratches the surface of its meaning. Especially since I'm a fan of simplicity (though it may not seem that way lol) But it's much deeper, I'm sure. I've also had other thoughts about TPOM. The most pressing continues to be that this represents a dichotomy of sorts. One that invades the culture of today. I like to call it 'the get up and do something' age. Picture this; Layla; a struggling single mother, takes a break while her baby naps. She sits on the couch to catch a little mid-afternoon t.v. A program catches her eye then goes to commercial break.

You too can earn a college degree in four months or less. Yes, four months or less!

She thinks the tv is talking to her then the telephone rings. It's her mom who wants to spend more time with her grandchild and offers to care for the baby anytime of the day. She thinks about it and tells mom the arrangement they have for the weekends is fine for now.

Although this wasn't the best example to have come up with (I really wouldn't entertain a degree offer like this either), it still explores the human condition to waste opportunities. Or maybe even exposes some of our inability to recognize them. What if it symbolizes how we block our own blessings by being complacent? Or maybe it's the exact opposite. What if the sliding time represents blessings given and the stable part represent future blessings...on a life continuum? Are our days really predetermined? Ahhh...what if?

This picture is one of the reasons I stopped wearing watches. Watches on my body are stress producing. I'm constantly checking the time, feeling rushed and sometimes wondering where time went when I wear them. And I don't like that feeling. Now I'll admit that I'm not the most stellar, on-time person. But I'm often the first person where I need to be :) And while I'm there, you have my full and genuine presence, patience, and participation. This picture made me appreciate time and BEING in the moment. And wearing watches takes that away from me.

What if it is exactly that? What if it represents our dis/respect of time? What if it has nothing to do with time and all to do with memories, as the title suggests. Maybe the clocks represent important events in our lives that compose our memories. What if we placed time clocks where we first kissed, graduation, marriage, baby, home, deaths, etc. would that image resemble Dali's? On a larger scale, I would hope. What if it is a reminder to make new memories?

Music isn't the only thing that can be subliminal...

Well...told you I spend a lot of time looking at this. This is a pinch of thoughts I have on it. But it all boils down to reminding me of who I am and who I need to be. I don't know how much time I have left.

What it said to me today was:

Re-flect what you want reflected. Re-evaluate often. Re-educate daily. Re-apply success. Re-purpose experience.

Stay peace

Ready, Set, Go!

Spring always makes me feel a certain way. Makes me want to let some things go, allow some things to gain entrance into my life, and re-evaluate those daily constants I face. This Spring has been especially good to me. I've gained a new boss!

Yeah, I said it...

There is a good newness in something like this. And I understand the honeymoon period, but change has never been a big problem for this Aquarian (despite whatcha heard *smile*). With such a newness, I'm allowed to reinvent myself for the better. Break a few bad habits and get back to the better me...ahh motivation. The stagnation of always doing the same thing and expecting different results does a body- and mind - bad. It gives you permission to do mediocre work after so long. Kind of like that 'it's-time-to-make-the-donuts' syndrome and I absolutely HATE that feeling. The truth is, I've allowed it to a certain extent and I will own all that messiness. But when you're so stuck because there is no room for your out-of-the-box thinking, you lose pieces of yourself that make you tick. In essence, you stop being you (for a moment) and begin to conform to the norms of your environment.

Well I'm happy to say that part of me died. No longer will I accept conforming because people feel there is no other way. No longer will I pick up the pieces of another person's puzzle and try to make them fit the way they want them to. If I choose to put it back together, it's going to be in such a way that makes the situation better. It may be different, but prayerfully it's better than it was.

I remember telling a coworker that I was going to act like I didn't know how to do something because the better I did, the more work I was given.... and I was being purely defiant....because I knew I could be. What she told me was something that I continue to hear everytime my ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) starts to ack (yes ack) up.

"No matter how a person treats you, if you are going to help, do it to the best of your ability. Don't allow someone to make you dumb yourself down, you're better than that. And you aren't hurting anyone but yourself."

And she was right. Sometimes you dumb yourself down by going on with business as usual when you need to push life's pause button and change up the game. Especially when you know it's something that should be done and then don't do it. So although this newness is only in one aspect of my life, I'm taking the opportunity to press pause in other areas and roll out on different, better terms to obtain different, better results.

Stay peace!

Women's Writes

Available for preorder at womenwrites.blogspot.com and Amazon.com! Available on Kindle as well! Don't miss out on this awesome collaborative effort.

did you think...

freestyle..

did u think it would be that simple?
that u could walk presently in the past and it be the same
u came at a time when u were no longer valid
no longer a thought
and expected to be more

did u think you could reminisce and i'd share in your vision
a vision better suited for puppy dog eyes and similac-sweet breath
a vision so distorted u lay fetal position stung by rejection
i would dare open more than my mouth to utter no to u
i'd walk a block away just to have you in hindsight
i'd kneel each second if it would allow reality to knock some sense into u
but i don't hate that u still care
i enjoy that i've marked ur past with something so irresistible, it's hard release
yet i live in now
and u don't belong here with me
judging by ur reaction, i wonder what great Freudian theory pertains to u
i'm sure it exists
but we don't
so get over it....


2009 Genesis

Never can say goodbye...

In light of losing a man who's meant so much to so many people, it's been hard to find the inspiration to write. But each time I listen to this song, I feel something amazingly liberating. We all have that one track that makes us stop what we're doing and pay attention by singing along. This track has always been that push I needed to accept things I didn't want to, believe better things were coming, and understand everything is flawed.

By the Way...

This is John Mayer on guitar at the MJ Memorial...I dig this and I still feel Michael there

Saturday Afternoon Freestyle

Queen-to-be

You're my queen-to-be

Baby-fresh breath

Silky black hair

gas-induced grins

soon sprouted pearly white chiclets

I memorized every plump bump on your body

Fell asleep with Johnson & Johnson’s aroma molesting my nostrils

Hostile midnight cries invaded color-coded dreams as you communicated this newness to me

Message received

Nourished your body and your comfort simultaneously

Exhaled relief when you fell back to sleep

Hush little baby

Don’t say a word

Momma’s gonna buy you a mocking bird

And if that mocking bird don’t sing…

One turned to two

Two turned to six

Six to fifteen

Unseen

The mocking bird never sang, you said

caught in tangled branches with leaves plugging your ears

my guess is you didn’t hear it

The hum of abstinence never relayed

The buzz of danger couldn’t filter through the thickets of peer pressure where you chose to rest, relate, and release

Momma’s gonna buy you a diamond ring

If that diamond ring turns brass…

I glanced over your shoulders every 50 seconds

Watched demon’s magnetic pull suck you in

Made you see rosy paths, BLING, and [misperceived] love

I watched your glow dim as you walked backwards toward supposed paradise

Tightened reigns made of rubber bands

Stood before you, alone

The perfect clone

Though you saw old school-don’t understand-over protective-preacher woman

I still saw Queen-to-be

That nursery rhyme told of persistence

Of try until it works

Of moving forward

Despite of…

it ended

Somewhere between curiosity and old habits die hard

When making your own mistakes became settled upon

Ending with knowing you’re the prettiest baby in town

Which is certainly not happily-ever-after and certainly no where to leave you

Hooker tops and apple bottoms won’t do a thing except make you sing this song

To your pretty little problem asleep in the baby swing

Amid chocolate brown arms feeling something like daddy’s love

But you’re not quite sure ‘cause you never felt it

The more I try, you digress

Blessing me with eye rolls and puffs of the same baby fresh breath that warmed my heart

Ignoring constant pleas to secure your future by practicing Queen-to-be patience

Diva was never the route I secured for you

Lil Wayne has you in the grips of celebrity but he smokes crack and possibly licks lolli-pops

Yet you’re immune to the truth spewing from his lips

Just like the way he makes you drop it

STOP IT

Again, from the old school-don’t understand-over protective preacher woman

I can’t make you dance to India, Jill, or Erykah

Still, I spin tunes hoping you’ll recollect their significance…one day

I fed you with Maya, Saul, Paul, Langston, Genesis, grandma, grandpa, aunties, and church

But your belly’s too full of BET, MTV, and 107.9 to feast on what can make you stronger

Pac symbolically spoke of you before you were born

My unconvinced ears couldn’t understand how his musicality could become my reality

Now I see

And I breathe deeply

You’re beyond the prettiest baby, you’re much more than a big butt and a smile

I just need you to realize this

Queen-to-be

You’re caught in a cycle that mommy can’t break

For your sake

I hope you learn your lesson

© 2009 Genesis

Elevation

The need for change bulldozed a road down the center of my mind
~Maya Angelou