I'm such a horrible blog owner...haven't blogged since 2011 and I have no good reason for it. I have tons to blog about...at least I think I do until it's actually time to do it. That's when I tinker out, cross it out, or say forget it...maybe it's because I never seem to have any direction for this place. Do I want to vent? Share creative stuff? Gossip? I'on know and for some reason I think I should know....
Well, today I just don't care. I'm going to post as my mind wanders...let you inside this Aquarian mind but you must promise that we will remain friends afterwards. And you have to look me in the eyes and say it like this: "We are still friends and you are not crazy." Verbatim....yeah :)
Scrolling through my mental LONG to-do list, I thought back to the good ole days...the days of this:
Well, back in the days we use to have them folded and pinned to the back of our shirts. There was NO way a teacher would miss that and not a chance of a kid forgetting.....I SOOOOO want to pin a note to one of my kids shirts just to say I did it. And they can say they experienced it.
Okay...next
Am I the only one who secretly wishes I can walk into Dave & Busters and play this:
Now say I'm the only one and I will slap you through this screen! LOL I can't be...even a little piece of you wished you could play it when you saw this picture. I'm sure of it. I see they just released an original version for one of the million systems out and you better believe where there's a will, there's a way...that doesn't involve doing anything irresponsible, but I will get it and the kids and hubby will hate me for it. :)
Since we're on games temporarily, am I the only one that still plays this:
You ain't gotta lie, Craig. You ain't gotta lie! I play this on the wii and I'm still in love with it. And before anybody says something about pacman, I got that too! But you can still get your pacman on practically anywhere nowadays.
On to the next thing...FACEBOOK
Whew...I can do a whole series on FB. But I'll start and end this one with FB Felons :) Really, just 3 questions if anyone can answer them, more power to 'em.
1. Why do you post pics of yourself smoking weed?
2. Why do you advertise boosting services?
3. Why didn't you believe me when I sent you a message saying you were this weeks wanted criminal and sent you a picture of your mugshot that was posted on their page?
I've teeter-tottered on whether or not I'd write this for...YEARS! But my how the time flies and things don't change. So I'm just gonna write it, gosh darnit.
PEOPLE NEED TO STOP GIVING UNSOLICITED OPINIONS!! PERIOD.
There, I said (wrote) it. It's out. I'm sick and tired of people giving me their opinions when I didn't ask for them. It's different when I say, "hey, this is what I'm going through," and then an opinion follows. But when you just downright come out the side of your neck to tell me to do something about MY life, then you just opened the flood gates for my Aquarian ways. Honeys, sarcasm is a second skin on me and just because it's funny, doesn't mean I don't mean it. :) I'm sure I'm not alone. People who mind my business because they feel they can, irk the hell outta me. People who ASSUME I value their unsolicited opinions makes me feel like someone just gave me a wedgie...and no one likes those. The only thing those opinions make me do is stay away from you...cause obviously you don't know jack about me.
Now, nothing has happened of late because I'm in great company. But it has taken a while to get here and before anyone crosses that line again, I wanted this to be known. Everybody has a pet peeve and this is my second. I won't even get into my first because I'm an air sign and sometimes I just don't make sense to people.
And if you're wondering, I don't give an opinion if I am not asked specifically. And actually, if I'm asked specifically, I'm gonna tell you to do what you feel you must do because I'm aware that I don't know ALL of the situation to make a very informed opinion on it. That's just me...take me as I am...flaws and all. :0)
Chrissy's not exactly on one knee, but she expresses her love for Jim Jones and asks for his hand in marriage. My first thought: WOW (in my Flavor Flav voice). My second thought: WOW (in my feminist voice). My third thought: fadamn...sigh (in my own voice). By the time the third thought crossed my mind's eye, I realized the negro didn't even respond in the negative nor affirmative. Poor Chrissy....my ass.
Quite a few years ago, I would have given Chrissy a high five, a gone girl, and a hallelujah. But today, all I saw was DESPERATION. IMHO (In my humble opinion), I don't think it's good to ask a man to marry you. Now, my opinion is mirrored by one of my male friends who thinks it's "weird" and prefers the more traditional route of marriage proposals. He wants to be okay with being hitched, wants to propose romantically, and wants it to be the right time. I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say he would probably ask her parents permission first. I didn't ask him that question but it's on my to-do list (wink). Another (young) male friend also described a woman asking a man to marry him as "weird." I'm gonna say weird is the word of the day for this topic from the male perspective. And I must mention, a few of my brothas didn't even want to answer the question. I guess it was "weird" for them too.
My sista-friends viewed the topic all over the map. One sista, who is recently engaged, stated, "I love my dude more than anything, but if he didn't ask me, there was no way I was asking him. It takes a man to truly search his soul to even ask her the right way. And for a woman to beat him to it...how do you know if he is ready or if you forced it?"
Another sista doesn't think there's anything wrong with a woman asking a man to marry her. She stated, "if you feel that's what you want to do, I don't think it's important who asks. What I think is more important is why you are asking?" This sista made me pause with that question. The only thing I kept repeating to myself was, "why are YOU asking?" See, 'cause I'm still not convinced it's okay. Or may it's not okay for me, as another one of my sistas put it. This may be closer to my truth. No, I don't think it's right for a woman to propose to a man. Yes, I think it's a desperate move. But, do what you do, Boo! I just can't see me doing it.
Now, on to a different perspective that may have very well rounded out my overall opinion. A sista told me that, "I am in no way a timid or docile woman in terms of my behavior in a relationship. But I would never ask a man to marry me. To do that deprives the man of his chase which is something I believe is very important to him. It's a part of his fiber whether he knows it or not." Hmmm BOOM!! What you know about that? I agree with her. Men love ego strokes, and what bigger stroke can he give himself with a marriage proposal, on his terms, and a tear-filled "YES!"
Then I got to wondering....what would ultra-feminist think? Would this be looked at as a symbol of 'yes, we can, as women, do this?' (Punctuation is ALL wrong in that but, it's my blog...lol) Would this be considered one of the 'rights' they'd fight for? I don't know, cause this feminist, I guess, it not that feminist.
As little girls, we are 'fed' the fairytale marriage proposals. When we start getting into a serious relationships where we want to be with that man forever, getting down on one knee isn't in our peripheral. We don't envision choosing the perfect ring for him. We don't think about how to make the perfect proposal to him. But, truthfully, if some of us have thought about it, I'm sure most of us have coward away from it at the very thought of being criticized for asking him first.
Guess I'll be spending the day dialoging about this subject with different people. My hopes? I want to 'feel' a happy medium between it being "weird" and it being "wrong" (cause I don't think I can be convinced that it's alright).
OK! Now for the juicy stuff (if you're a viewer)...
Jim Jones momma was pissed, wasn't she? LOL!! Chrissy better get a bigger bed cause momma is gonna be all up in their business! Do you think she was wrong for being upset about the engagement. And why do I suddenly miss Frankie (Keyshia Coles mother) when I see his momma?? Seeing her also makes me wanna 'phone home' (wink...lol) Things that make you go hmmm...
Fabolous' *iwishedhespelledthisright* girlfriend, Emily, needs to let the negro GO! Not only did he not show up for the family photo shoot, but he didn't even answer the phone when she wanted help calming their son down! Not to mention the stuff we already know, like he doesn't 'claim' her in public. She's just his stylist. Psssh! I wish a negro would. She need to grow some, take her kids, and dip!
Somoya is a hot drama mess. That's all I have to say about her. And the ex G Unit girl is over-rated to me. I can't think of her name either....that's how much matters.
Is Moshonda even really on the show? I know she had her divorce ala Alicia Keys situation going on, but I've only seen her once. What's up with that?
Now, I'm gonna watch the last recorded episode of Mob Wives. I'm SURE I have a blog for that one too! Those birds really need to sit it down...lol
I don't want to lose you, T.I. But I think it's time we said badbye Good-bye implies I'll catch up witcha Though I really don't see that in the picture....
Ok, so I'm not a rapper, but I've got potential :) Anyway...I've been wanting to speak up on this since it happened. But I didn't have time, until now, to gather my thoughts on the matter. T.I. is one of my favorite rap artists. When the news broke that he was pulled over because the cops smelled weed emanating from his car, I said, "Ooook." But when it was added that there were methamphetamines in the car, I said, "Damn," and sighed. Now, in all my fairness a drug is a drug (for all my peeps in recovery, drug counselors, etc... I get it, I know...lol), and I'm not disputing that, it's just meth, crack and all that 'seems' wayyyy worse than mary jane (I am only human).
Now, this may not seem like a big deal to anyone, but it presented a 'value' issue with me. I know I'm not in contact with T.I. or anything like that, so it's totally superficial at first glance. But I love the artist so much I said, "Self, you take pride in being fair in all situations, so will this new charge T.I. has really stop you from supporting his music?" (Yep, I converse with myself on a regular) Can you say conflicted? And this is why...
1.) I do not condone adults doing ridiculous things. And what he and Tiny (yeah, she played a part in it as well) were into was ridiculous.
2.) After his very engaging show, T.I.'s Road To Redemption, I really thought once he finished his prison sentence, he was going to show us all those things he told us. I was a true T.I. cheerleader. I wanted him to do well. *insert sad face here*
3.) He still runs a camp to help at-risk youth (and I dig that totally!) but has presented the very worse example possible.
4.) He's great with his mouth piece. But how can you not love a man who says things like:
One's ability to change comes with one's wishes to change. If you want to change then you have every opportunity, every ability to.If you want something better for yourself then you set your mind to it and you see it and you do it. (T.I. Jet magazine)
5.) Based on his words, T.I. wasn't ready to change and I don't like being disappointed in such a foolish way. *insert another sad face here...make that a super-sad face*
6.) Where the heck was the 'supervision' in his supervised release? Since T.I.'s been out of prison for 6 months, if someone was on their j-o-b, he should have had at least 3 urine screens. In order to be truly fair, everyone has to play their position, right? I mean, he was banned from possessing controlled substances as a condition of his 'supervised' release. And I may be minimizing what he did by writing this one, but oh, well...I'm still battling with this whole thing.
7.) He's so darn cute when he sings, "You can have whatever you like.." LOL
8.) If he was selling meth (I'm still not clear on the amount found so I don't know if he was using or selling), why be so greedy? Is street credibility that important that you make millions reciting poetry to music, making movies, etc., but still feel the need to hustle dope? Or are you that greedy? Or is it selfishness?
9.) If he was using meth...NEXT!
9.) And what about the responsibilities of fatherhood, husbandhood, brotherhood...
Well, I'm gonna chill out and let the rest of it marinate in merlot-clouded thoughts tonight. Then I'm gonna make my decision. But, my money is funny so it's not looking too good for T.I. People make mistakes, but I can only support those who show they've learned their lesson.
One of my favorites, The Persistence Of Memory (TPOM), continues to pull me in. Reminding me that who I am, and who I need to be isn't the same thing as who I am, and who I want to be. And more importantly, recognizing which one of these roles is important at the time. (FB Fam, you have to go to poeticgenesis.blogspot.com to view images) The melting of the clocks, to me, symbolizes time we waste or let slip away. I find myself spending tons of time just looking at this. I can only hope my loose interpretation scratches the surface of its meaning. Especially since I'm a fan of simplicity (though it may not seem that way lol) But it's much deeper, I'm sure. I've also had other thoughts about TPOM. The most pressing continues to be that this represents a dichotomy of sorts. One that invades the culture of today. I like to call it 'the get up and do something' age. Picture this; Layla; a struggling single mother, takes a break while her baby naps. She sits on the couch to catch a little mid-afternoon t.v. A program catches her eye then goes to commercial break.
You too can earn a college degree in four months or less. Yes, four months or less!
She thinks the tv is talking to her then the telephone rings. It's her mom who wants to spend more time with her grandchild and offers to care for the baby anytime of the day. She thinks about it and tells mom the arrangement they have for the weekends is fine for now.
Although this wasn't the best example to have come up with (I really wouldn't entertain a degree offer like this either), it still explores the human condition to waste opportunities. Or maybe even exposes some of our inability to recognize them. What if it symbolizes how we block our own blessings by being complacent? Or maybe it's the exact opposite. What if the sliding time represents blessings given and the stable part represent future blessings...on a life continuum? Are our days really predetermined? Ahhh...what if?
This picture is one of the reasons I stopped wearing watches. Watches on my body are stress producing. I'm constantly checking the time, feeling rushed and sometimes wondering where time went when I wear them. And I don't like that feeling. Now I'll admit that I'm not the most stellar, on-time person. But I'm often the first person where I need to be :) And while I'm there, you have my full and genuine presence, patience, and participation. This picture made me appreciate time and BEING in the moment. And wearing watches takes that away from me.
What if it is exactly that? What if it represents our dis/respect of time? What if it has nothing to do with time and all to do with memories, as the title suggests. Maybe the clocks represent important events in our lives that compose our memories. What if we placed time clocks where we first kissed, graduation, marriage, baby, home, deaths, etc. would that image resemble Dali's? On a larger scale, I would hope. What if it is a reminder to make new memories?
Music isn't the only thing that can be subliminal...
Well...told you I spend a lot of time looking at this. This is a pinch of thoughts I have on it. But it all boils down to reminding me of who I am and who I need to be. I don't know how much time I have left.
What it said to me today was:
Re-flect what you want reflected. Re-evaluate often. Re-educate daily. Re-apply success. Re-purpose experience.
Spring always makes me feel a certain way. Makes me want to let some things go, allow some things to gain entrance into my life, and re-evaluate those daily constants I face. This Spring has been especially good to me. I've gained a new boss!
Yeah, I said it...
There is a good newness in something like this. And I understand the honeymoon period, but change has never been a big problem for this Aquarian (despite whatcha heard *smile*). With such a newness, I'm allowed to reinvent myself for the better. Break a few bad habits and get back to the better me...ahh motivation. The stagnation of always doing the same thing and expecting different results does a body- and mind - bad. It gives you permission to do mediocre work after so long. Kind of like that 'it's-time-to-make-the-donuts' syndrome and I absolutely HATE that feeling. The truth is, I've allowed it to a certain extent and I will own all that messiness. But when you're so stuck because there is no room for your out-of-the-box thinking, you lose pieces of yourself that make you tick. In essence, you stop being you (for a moment) and begin to conform to the norms of your environment.
Well I'm happy to say that part of me died. No longer will I accept conforming because people feel there is no other way. No longer will I pick up the pieces of another person's puzzle and try to make them fit the way they want them to. If I choose to put it back together, it's going to be in such a way that makes the situation better. It may be different, but prayerfully it's better than it was.
I remember telling a coworker that I was going to act like I didn't know how to do something because the better I did, the more work I was given.... and I was being purely defiant....because I knew I could be. What she told me was something that I continue to hear everytime my ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) starts to ack (yes ack) up.
"No matter how a person treats you, if you are going to help, do it to the best of your ability. Don't allow someone to make you dumb yourself down, you're better than that. And you aren't hurting anyone but yourself."
And she was right. Sometimes you dumb yourself down by going on with business as usual when you need to push life's pause button and change up the game. Especially when you know it's something that should be done and then don't do it. So although this newness is only in one aspect of my life, I'm taking the opportunity to press pause in other areas and roll out on different, better terms to obtain different, better results.
did u think it would be that simple? that u could walk presently in the past and it be the same u came at a time when u were no longer valid no longer a thought and expected to be more
did u think you could reminisce and i'd share in your vision a vision better suited for puppy dog eyes and similac-sweet breath a vision so distorted u lay fetal position stung by rejection i would dare open more than my mouth to utter no to u i'd walk a block away just to have you in hindsight i'd kneel each second if it would allow reality to knock some sense into u but i don't hate that u still care i enjoy that i've marked ur past with something so irresistible, it's hard release yet i live in now and u don't belong here with me judging by ur reaction, i wonder what great Freudian theory pertains to u i'm sure it exists but we don't so get over it....
In light of losing a man who's meant so much to so many people, it's been hard to find the inspiration to write. But each time I listen to this song, I feel something amazingly liberating. We all have that one track that makes us stop what we're doing and pay attention by singing along. This track has always been that push I needed to accept things I didn't want to, believe better things were coming, and understand everything is flawed.
By the Way...
This is John Mayer on guitar at the MJ Memorial...I dig this and I still feel Michael there
Being a parent is hard. Really hard. But one of the most challenging lessons I've learned in this role is that you HAVE to listen to your babies. Most parents, me included, grew up in the tradition of children are to be seen; not heard. But today, that is more of a cliche than a value or tradition. The kids today are demanding to be heard. And if you don't listen to them, you surely will when you are speaking with them across the table at the juvenile detention center. Or you'll listen to them when they are screaming across the room "you don't care about me."
I work with families who have teens with varying issues. But I've noticed the link that binds them together is the no-one's-listening factor. And when I speak of listening, I'm not talking about the adult-type of listening. I'm speaking of listening...for solutions. For instance, I know a teen who wants to be a journalist. But when I questioned her about her career choice, her answer was "cause everybody says I write good." So I asked her if SHE thought she wrote well. Her response: "Yeah, but I just like the way it looks."
Calligraphy classes maybe?
That's the type of listening I'm talking about. If she likes the way her writing looks, then she should have the opportunity to learn more about that. Maybe she'll stay out of trouble because she's involved in something SHE likes.
When we talk to our kids, we have to ask questions about what they are saying. Don't take anything at face value because most kids don't truly know how to verbalize their feelings. Most kids know that they are hurting, but don't understand this is regular kid-stuff.
We (parents) have got to step-up to the plate. Remember when our teachers told us to put on our listening ears? This is just a small lesson that they understood would be a valuable trait.
Why such an odd post? I'm working on a Cleveland-based project that will have parents, teachers, and communities finally listening to the generation that we will ultimately pass our problems on to. And while jotting down notes for the proposal, body of work, and possible funding sources, I became upset that something so simple is so disregarded.
I can't talk about her side part wrap wore my hair that way for many years and I can't talk about the way she changed the subject when her neck became hot it bothered her too much to speak I've been accustomed to talking about her for years how the color never changes and she's always carrying around a faded handkerchief dabbing at the moisture that tells her truth
And the way she dresses old-school really didn't bother me 'til I found out I'm not easy to accept change rather wear something clean than new and out of character
The cling-clank of the bangles bothered me how she seemed to move them around and emphasized her pointless-points never knowing it was music to her ears a distraction from what was happening around her and comforted her
when i realized it was a mirror image i suddenly began wheezing though no asthma consumed my body it hurt a little okay a lot to realize i'd taunted her regularly disregarded her feelings daily cruised on auto-pilot while others captured their far-away dreams and I sat idly minding her business
For some reason, Monday nights seem to be nights for reflection. I don't intend to make it so and don't know how long it will last. But I notice, Mondays speak to me in a way no other day does. I feel renewed, new, and inspired. Don't ask me where the inspiration comes from; I can't tell you. It just is. Like God; who just is. I had a client tell me she makes her day. And I guess every Monday, I'm just making mine... even if it is in the evening.
Patience is a virtue, tolerance is not. So how much can one tolerate before saying "this is it?" When saying that, does it mean the individual has given up? Or does it simply mean they've done all they could do? Ran out of options? Or realized it was a storm they could not surpass?
I've spent a few good hours combing the net for 2009 writing contests to enter and want to share what I've found with you.
Writers Digest
Annual Writing Competition For 78 years, the Annual Writer’s Digest Competition has rewarded writers just like you for their finest work. We continue the tradition by giving away more than $30,000 in cash and prizes!
Win a trip to New York City !
GRAND PRIZE: $3,000 cash and a trip to New York City to meet with editors or agents.Writer's Digest will fly you and a guest to The Big Apple, where you'll spend three days and two nights in the publishing capital of the world. While you're there, a Writer's Digest editor will escort you to meet and share your work with four editors or agents! Plus, you'll receive a free Diamond Publishing Package from Outskirts Press.
Delacorte Press Books for Young Readers is proud to announce the Eighteenth Annual Delacorte Yearling Contest for a First Middle-Grade Novel*
The prize of a book contract (on the Publisher’s standard form) for a hardcover and a paperback edition, including an advance and royalties, will be awarded annually to encourage the writing of contemporary or historical fiction set in North America, for readers age 9–12. The award consists of $1,500 in cash and a $7,500 advance against royalties.
All federal, state and local taxes, if any, are the winners sole responsibility. Prizes are not transferrable and cannot be assigned. NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO WIN.
ELIGIBILITY
1. The contest is open to U.S. and Canadian writers who have not previously published a novel for middle-grade readers. Employees of Random House, Inc. and its subsidiaries and affiliates, and members of their families and households are not eligible.
2. Foreign-language manuscripts and translations are not eligible.
3. Manuscripts submitted to a previous Delacorte Press contest are not eligible.
FORMAT FOR SUBMISSIONS
1. Manuscripts should be no shorter than 96 typewritten pages and no longer than 160 typewritten pages. Include a brief plot summary with your covering letter.
2. Each manuscript should have a cover page listing the title of the work and the author’s name, address, and telephone number. The title should also appear on each manuscript page.
3. Manuscripts should be typed doublespaced on 8 1/2" by 11" good quality white paper, and pages should be numbered consecutively.The type should be easy to read, preferably 12 point.The author should retain a copy of any manuscript submitted.
4. Photocopies are acceptable if readily legible and printed on good quality white (not gray) paper. Partial or illegible entries will not be acceptable.
5. Photocopies are acceptable if readily legible and printed on good quality white (not gray) paper.
6. Do not submit manuscripts in boxes. A padded envelope will do. Please do not enclose checks for postage. The publisher is not responsible for late, lost, misdelivered, or misplaced submissions.
7. Please enclose a business-size stamped, self-addressed envelope for notification only. Please do not enclose checks for postage. Due to new postal regulations, the publisher cannot return any manuscripts. All submissions will be recycled by Random House after they are read. MULTIPLE SUBMISSIONS
1. Manuscripts sent to Delacorte Press may not be submitted to other publishers or literary agents while under consideration for the prize. 2. Authors may not submit more than two manuscripts to the Delacorte Yearling competition; each must meet all eligibility requirements.
DATES FOR SUBMISSION
1. Manuscripts must be postmarked after April 1, 2009, but no later than June 30, 2009. 2. Send manuscripts to: Delacorte Yearling Contest Random House, Inc. 1745 Broadway, 9th Floor New York, NY 10019 JUDGING
1. The Judges are the editors of Delacorte Press Books for Young Readers. 2. The judges reserve the right not to award a prize. 3. The judges’ decision will be final. 4. The editors of Delacorte Press Books for Young Readers will not be able to offer critiques of manuscripts or enter into correspondence about the manuscripts other than with the winning author. 5. Writers will be notified between July and October as submissions are evaluated by the editors. Final contest results will be announced on our Web site on or around October 31, 2009.
The Federal Reserve Bank of Cleveland (students only)
Creative Writing Contest Money, Money, Money? - The Challenge
NEW PRIZES!!!! Read more.....
Juniors and seniors…these last years of high school are exciting—college visits and applications, prom, graduation—but they can also be expensive. How will you pay for it all?
A budget is one tool you can use. Even if your only income is an allowance from your parents, you can still get in the habit of making smart budget decisions and stretching your dollars further.
Budgeting money may be easy for some, but it takes real effort for most of us. Tell us, in a creatively written composition of your choice, how you will take charge of budgeting for additional expenses in your junior and senior years. Discuss the various expenses that you anticipate and how you plan to pay for them. How will you prioritize your expenses and handle unanticipated ones? What trade-offs are you willing to make to get what you want most? What mistakes do you hope to avoid? Be sure to include economic concepts in your composition.
Whatever you do after high school, taking control of how you handle money today will give you more choices in the future. Good luck!
Acceptable written compositions for this contest include essays, short stories, poems, and plays. Submission Deadline: March 20, 2009 Examples of economic concepts include:
Budget a written plan for spending and saving money.
Financial Goals the desired results of one’s efforts to achieve personal economic satisfaction.
Incentive a factor that encourages people to do something; often a monetary reward or the prospect of obtaining one.
Opportunity Cost the value of possible alternatives that a person gives up when making one choice instead of another; also known as a trade-off.
Standard of Living the overall degree of comfort of an individual, household, or population, as measured by the amount of goods and services its members consume.
It's February and there are two things in the air: love and blackness. And to combine the two is like whoa!
Black love is so complex. I hear the sighs and see the head-shakes...the whispers challenging that ALL love is complex, and that may be true. But that isn't my truth.
I only know of Black love.
Love as in memories of being seated between my mommy's thighs while she greased my scalp, of being held by my father after a whipping and being told, "I'm doing this because I love you. It hurts me just as much as it hurts you."
I'm speaking of a love that makes my man grab my hand, intertwining our fingers, while being followed in the store...Black love.
The kind of love that knows struggle to the point it makes us emotionally bound even though we are strangers...Black love.
A love that makes our hips ride bass lines because we have jungle in our blood...Black love.
Through our kinks, relaxers, press and curls, we gather together gossiping about this Black love and that Black love; getting gorgeous for the Black love at home.
Waiting for bald fades, line-ups, ceasers, and goatee trims, Black love floats through the air in the form of jokes, jives, and high fives.
As we waltz through February, I look forward to being more aware of the complexity of Black love. How about you?
It isn't the way I move my hips slightly out of tune as if my momma wasn't black that makes my rhythm unique
It isn't the way my hair kinks and curls with no destination as if my roots have a mind of their own that makes my style 'ethnic'
It isn't the way I love my man through hills and valleys as if our chemistry is magnetic that makes me a greater woman
And
It isn't the way I hold my children through night terrors and soiled diapers and teen angst as if they are appendages of my soul that makes me mother of the year
It's the way that I smile It's the heartiness of my laughter It's the birthmark in the white of my eye the smirk defining my sarcastic nature the way I love my double D's the power of my voice the reason in the depth of my decisions the empathy I carry on my sleeve the tears I refuse to shed the violence I do not partake in the adoration of my melanin the thirst for knowledge I have the hunger for equality burning righteously within me the way I purse my lips before I bless someone the tumbles and turns of life that I refuse to let hold me back
that defines me all that I am
and in this moment I realize I am all that and more
So no, it isn't my penchant for vintage clothing that makes me a throwback girl And it isn't my disdain for designer labels that makes me frugal It's my reality of me And it could be that I'm just cheap haven't dug that deep I am to be continued
I've seen a lot of things. But there are somethings that I refuse to accept, no matter how often I see them...
A few weeks ago I went to court with a co-worker and my stomach literally knotted when I saw a boy, no older than 16, in a prison jumpsuit and shackles. And I can't deny that I probably would have cried... in the car... had I driven myself. It's one thing to see it on television and something totally different when it's all up in your face. He was a baby... is a baby.
And I can't tell you that I wasn't seeing through a mother's eyes. I'm a mother no matter what my occupation is and it isn't a role you can just switch off and on. When I saw this child, something struck a nerve. I even put the entire situation in perspective... he wasn't there because he was 'child of the year'... broke the law in some way. Maybe he killed someone, maybe he cursed out the wrong cop, maybe he's a victim of racial profiling, maybe he was in the wrong place at the wrong time, maybe he beat up his mom... or sold drugs, was a pimp, was a runner, or just the cool guy who didn't flee....
I made up all these 'stories' about him, 'cause I didn't know him. But still... seeing a young person, in prison-issued garments... shackled wrists to hips, ankle to ankle... will never be something I can accept. Ever. 'Cause it isn't supposed to be that way...
Where are we failing? And what's working? When we begin to look at the things that are keeping kids out of juvenile detention centers, we'll be in a better position for really executing change.
My son came to me wide-eyed and jittery. As he held up two wiggly fingers on one hand and five on the other, he said, "Mommy, two plus five equals seven. And four plus three equals seven. But that doesn't make any sense." I couldn't tell if he was excited or confused, but I'm guessing it was a bit of both. "Baby, there are many ways to add things up to equal seven. And there are many ways you can subtract things from each other that equal seven. There is more than one way to get all numbers."
Even though he said, "Ok," I know this was not enough for him. But he scampered away holding up seven fingers and shaking his head. His innocent, six year-old thoughts gave me pause. How old was I when I realized there was more to reality than my perspective? When will he realize this?
He's at a stage in life where, though he recognizes black and white, grey doesn't exist. Either you're good or bad...right or wrong.
His perception made me think about a question my husband asked me before Obama became our President-elect; How can we tell our son Obama didn't win?
With such immature rationale, how would I have been able to tell him that without answering why questions in a way he'd understand? How would I have been able to show him that collectively, we can do ALL things under Christ? What would my proof have been? I can't put up fingers and 'show' him why Obama lost.
Not only will I not have to answer these questions (though I'm sure there are many tough questions to be answered), I will not have to prematurely cloud my six year old's mind with other perceptions he won't understand...yet.
But what he did understand was Obama was the only way to go. One day, he'll understand that since we've had our 'Obama' moment, there has to be many more ways that will equal (and surpass) the perception of our people and our nation. But it's up to us, it's up to our sons and daughters, and their sons and daughters... we make up this nation and it's only fair that we are represented.
So be mindful of where your children are mentally. Listen to what they know so you can build upon it; make it better. But don't wait. Today is the day. The older they get, the easier it will be for television, radio, internet, and their just-as-naive friends to infiltrate their thoughts and distort reality and for whose greater good?
Learning that people aren't what they appear to be, situations are much deeper than what's on the surface, and visions are flawed is a phenomena that most of us encounter daily. And when faced with the opposite of what we thought was going on most times seem surprising, it really only informs us of our biases, preconceived notions, and the stereotypical nature that festers in all of us.
After I all but confessed my ignorance of some things, I can remember my father saying many times, "That's what you get for thinking." Though he never told me exactly what that meant. I get it now. Thanks daddy!
I realized that it was not by wisdom that poets write their poetry, but by a kind of nature or inspiration, such as you find in seers and prophets; for these also say many beautiful things, but do not know anything of what they say. ~ Socrates
